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Growing as a Parent, as Your Child Grows
By Chris Meagher
The old axiom: "being a parent doesn't come with instructions", has rung true since time immemorial. Essentially, no person is certified by any means, to become a mother or father, then all of a sudden - they are. Purely by way of hands-on experience, does anyone really become a skillful mom or dad at rearing their offspring. So that you can nurture your child effectively, you will need to consider countless issues, that all add-up to assist children's development. Most of us see our children develop right there, in front of us. It feels like a mere moment ago, they were just a mere bub working out how to crawl, walk, and eat unassisted, and all of a sudden they're going to school, taking part in activities, being social and creating friendships, and learning to be an individual - seeking your guidance less and less. As our children grow, develop, learn, and mature, so does our role as a parent, and therefore we are always growing as a parent, as our children grow. An integral part of a child's development is discipline. This consists of educating your child about what they are permitted to do and what is unacceptable, as well as the distinction between what is right and what is wrong. This can be a tremendously daunting obligation, for any parent. If you hinder a child excessively, the child will grow into being shy, and frightened to attempt new-found experiences. On the other hand, if you enable your offspring to run wild, without the requisite discipline, he or she may not become cognisant about the basic principles of simple rules, and will surely have difficulty concerning authority, subsequently in adult life. Whilst your children have been developing, doubtless you have by now observed that they have their own unique character and nature. You will have almost certainly and without thinking, re-constructed your nurturing talents regarding the particular and individualistic requirements of each of your children. Rarely are two kids quite the same, and for that reason, nor should be your nurturing manner. Certain children might be more unsure of on their own, requiring additional guidance, so parents get into the habit of always having to instruct and stimulate that child on a regular basis, whilst also attempting to continue encouraging individualism, at the same time affording praise to increase their self-esteem and self-confidence. Then again, another youngster might be inherently determined, particularly strong-willed and not require much direction or instruction on your part. Whilst you are motivating their independence, it's also necessary that you additionally stimulate their capacity to look for assistance when called for, and always applauding selfless acts, behaviour, and personal attributes. As well, you ought to educate your offspring on the subject of health. This is an area that parents don't generally fail in, as is made clear by the often heard expression “eat your veggies”. As opposed to berating your child to eat sensible, healthy food, you would be better off explaining what food products can be harmful, and how they effect the body. Clarify the advantages of eating in a healthy fashion. Obesity is a enormous, present-day problem, so you ought to educate your children about how not to slip into an unhealthy eating habits. As parents, the greatest means most of us possess, to be able to fruitfully improve our child-rearing talents, are our eyes and ears. Parents have to actually observe issues materializing with their children, and to hear the things they are revealing to us. It's vital to stimulate our offspring into becoming their own unique person, whilst still being there when needed, for whatever circumstance may arise. From time to time this is situation-specific. Your offspring may well not need you directly engaged with their education for them to succeed, however, they may require greater parental guidance in their social life, as they could be experiencing some nervousness when it involves being part of new social interactions, or interacting with new people. Developing the mind of the child, is always greatly enhanced by the practice of parent's reading to, or relating stories to, children from an early age. This is the best way to stuff your offspring’s mind with knowledge and parents should read to their child every day, preferably on multiple occasions daily. Parenting never was a straightforward matter and in order to be a good parent, it's important to be tuned in to a great variety of elements. No one is born with the knowledge of how to be a parent and as this can be completely overwhelming for some, and if this is your case, you can find the support you need from such diverse arenas as magazines, books, parental-groups and parenting-classes. There is information out there on every level of your offspring's development, as well as your own. So basically, your offspring are constantly growing and adjusting with their experiences, so therefore your parenting abilities should, too. Keep alert and communicate honestly and openly with each of your children, and you'll find that you are growing as a parent, as your children grow.
Mr Meagher has been a gardener and organic gardener for 45 years, permaculturist for 30 years. Producing diverse articles from Agriculture to Weddings. Further reading to be found at: http://website-for-parents.com
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Contributor's Note
Being a parent is one hell of a responsibility and no one is born with the skills to be an effective parent, nor is there a license necessary to actually become one. Apart from the lessons you have already learned and the odd bit of advice from your own parents, you are pretty much on your own, in charge of the development of a new human-being. Scary stuff.
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Hi Chris, As a parent with two children, with children of their own, I think I learned a little about the job on the way. It is great when your grown children tell you and others, they couldn't have had a better childhood. The fact is I'm proud of both of them and what they have achieved in life. And yet I don't think I did anything different from what you are advising. Keep up the good work. Tom
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Hello there Tom Leigh, thank you for your comment.
Kind Regards Chris.
Chris, you hit the nail on the head. You're "pretty much on your own." My mum was dead when I had my first child so I listened to everyone and anyone who would give me tips. Some of them turned out to be good but I really had to learn by trial and error. Coming from a large family did help and babysitting when growing up also helped. Caring for your own child though is so different than looking after someone elses. It was a real steep learning curve.
Thank you. This was a great intel.
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